Cannot Unsee
by super ario
Summary: Lil sees something she wishes she hadn't. Kimi is there to talk her through the trauma.


**Disclaimer: **The only thing I own is a laptop. And it doesn't even work good.

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><p>"Don't you think you guys are overreacting?"<p>

Lil gives her friend a look that's bordering on murderous before she grabs her smoothie. She guides the green straw into her mouth and takes a good, long sip to calm herself. There's too much strawberry and not enough_ berry _in it and she half has the urge to get up and complain about it to Mr. Finster but doing so would require energy and effort, something which she currently lacks. So she takes another taste of the frigid fruit concoction and wills herself not to be sick, wills the memories to disappear from her mind forever.

"I mean, really, what's the big deal?"

"I'll tell you what the big deal is, Kimi," Lil says. She sets the cup down in front of her, on the table, and leans forward slightly. She wants her friend to be able to hear her without her having to speak so loudly. After all, Kimi's dad is working the Java Lava this evening and the last thing Lil wants is for one of the parents to hear and attempt to mediate the situation. "I saw my brother naked. My _brother, _Phil freakin' DeVille. Need I really explain to you why this is such a big deal? Because I don't think I'm overreacting at all."

Kimi has to fight off a sigh. "Look, so you walked in on him when he was getting out of the shower. It's not like you really barged in there on purpose and _wanted_ to see him. You had to go use the toilet and he forgot to lock the door. It was a mistake and mistakes happen sometimes. Probably won't ever happen again. Why bother reading so much into it?"

"You're not seeing the dilemma here," Lil groans. "This is not just like any other little accidental happenstance. This is different, okay? This is Phil naked. Like, without any of his clothes on, literally. Not even a towel. Head to toe nothingness. Just totally baring it all, letting it all hang out there. God, I think I'm going to be sick just thinking about it. How do I get these images out of my head?!" Her head hits the tabletop with a thud and Mr. Finster turns to look at her with confused concern. "Ugh."

Kimi takes a sip of her mango smoothie.

Lil continues miserably, "And the worst thing is that we have to live in the same house still."

"Of course you have to live in the same house. Lil, he's your brother! Your twin, for god's sake," Kimi reminds her, tiredly. "You and Phil have been best friends since you were, like, in the womb together! That's a really strong bond that you guys have and he loves you. You know that and we all know that. And I don't think he'd want to let this little stupid incident get in the way of your relationship together. Like, so what if you walked in on him accidentally? I'm sure he knows that it was an accident and he's probably just as embarrassed as you are. Even more so, actually, considering he was the one who was naked, not you."

"I don't even want to think of it having been me."

Kimi rolls her eyes and nurses the smoothie between her palms. She loves Lil, of course, and Phil too, but she gets tired of dealing with their melodramatic tendencies sometimes. She understands that they're both reeling from this recent mishap but she doesn't deem it a suitable reason to dismantle their entire relationship. After all, they're family and both incredibly close with one another. She doesn't see what the big issue is. "Exactly. Now can you imagine what Phil is thinking about right now? What he's feeling after all this? I know he's not happy with what happened either and he was probably beyond caught off guard when you came in. It's okay for you guys to feel weird about it. I'd be more concerned if you _didn't_ feel weird about it. But don't let it, like, ruin your guys' relationship altogether!"

"I know it seems like nothing to you, Kimi. But what if it was you and Chuckie, huh?"

"I don't particularly want to picture my brother naked, let alone actually _see_ him," the girl responds. "But if I had walked in on Chuckie - or he had walked in on me - I wouldn't let it come between us and our relationship forever. I mean, yeah, of course it would be weird at first, and awkward. Chuckie and I have walked in on each other changing before, but never completely naked. It was mortifying enough to have him see me in my bra for even a split second, although in my defense I didn't really have boobs back then so it's not like it really mattered. And it was embarrassing to say the least and we kinda dodged each other for the rest of the day, but we got over it pretty quickly. We cared too much about each other to let something silly like that ruin our friendship. And you and Phil care too much about each other to let that ruin your friendship too."

Lil simply groans again.

Kimi continues. "I'm sure this will all blow over by tomorrow and I'm sure you'll both forget about it completely in the next few days. After all, you do live in the same house together. You share a bathroom and everything. You two are going to have to see each other again at some point once you're both home, and there's no use in avoiding each other forever. That's not going to solve anything. You guys just need to be mature about it. Besides, you two took baths together all the time when you were younger. In fact, we all did. I don't think this is the first time you've seen Phil naked."

"It's not the first time," Lil concedes, lifting her head. "But we were in diapers back then and it didn't even matter. I think the last time my mom bathed us together was when we were like three years old, and that might even be pushing it. It's not the same."

"It kind of is the same, though. I don't see why it should be any different." Kimi pauses to take a sip of her smoothie before continuing. "You said back then it didn't even matter. The only reason it matters to you now is because you're making it matter. You're making it into a big deal which it's really not. You saw your brother naked. So what? Yeah, we're all older now and our bodies are changing and everything...but he's still your brother. He's still your friend. And so you might have been reminded that he is a human being with a human body but I don't see why that should change things."

"It shouldn't," Lil agrees, sighing. "I know it shouldn't change things and I don't want it to. But I just don't know how to deal with this. I mean, of course I want to get over it and I want us to move past this. I really don't want to have to keep thinking about this anymore and replaying that moment in my head over and over again. It's horrifying and it makes my stomach feel weird." She grabs her smoothie again but doesn't make any effort to actually drink it. "But it's just like...well, Phil is my little brother. We might as well have been born joined at the hip! He's like a huge part of me and my life and I love him and everything but..."

"...but?"

Lil frowns. "But, I guess I just got so used to him just being _him._ Just being Phil, and not being a boy. Like an actual _boy_ boy. Like with boy parts and everything. I mean, I've always known Phil was a boy, obviously. Not only because I've seen his baby pictures. He's always been a boy for all of his life and we've always been opposites of each other. But at the same time we're just so alike that sometimes I forget that we're different. Sometimes I look past the fact that I wear bras and bikini tops and he doesn't, and the fact that he cries when a stray soccer ball hits him below the waistline and I don't." She has to stifle a laugh at that. "I've never really had to read much into that. I guess I still don't, but, at the same time I just feel so confused now. This is sort of like that time that he walked in on me after you and me got our first bras, only worse."

"Oh, I remember that! You guys were so weird around each other for a while, you could hardly stand to be in the same room as each other. Let alone share a birthday party." Kimi released a chuckle. "We were all really glad when you guys finally came to your senses and realized that you were being idiots. Just like you're being now. But that was different. You guys were younger then and were barely going into puberty. You were starting to finally see the opposite sex in a new and fascinating light. It was confusing and scary for you both to realize that things were changing. But now you guys are 15! You guys are _way_ more mature now. Sort of."

Lil doesn't look amused.

Kimi goes on. "If you guys could get over this the last time then I know you guys can get over this this time too. You just have to put a little effort into it. Talk to him. Say 'Phil, I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. I know things are a little weird right now and that's okay. I'm just as embarrassed as you are. But we're family and we gotta remember that nothing can or should come between that, not even this.' And then you guys will hug it out and maybe punch each other a little like usual and you'll promise to knock before entering next time as long as he promises to check to make sure the door is locked properly before disrobing and things will fall right back into place and you'll forget that anything ever happened and live happily ever after, the end."

"_Happily ever after_? You mean as happy as one can be when living with Phil."

"Just consider this pay back for him walking in on you in your bra. Except you went the extra mile and walked on in him in his most vulnerable state," Kimi says, pausing to take another sip of her smoothie. "Revenge, if you will. Sweet, sweet revenge."

Lil makes a face but ends up laughing anyway. "Well, I don't know if I can say it's _sweet, _but putting it that way does make me feel a little better. If only I'd had a camera on me at the time. I would have snapped a photo or two for blackmail purposes. Would have worked like magic." She smiles. "Thanks, Kimi."

"Hey, that's what I'm here for, right? Listening to your silly problems and talking sense into you when you're being an ignorant moron. All in a day's work."

"I would yell at you for saying that, but in this case you're right, so, I'll let it slide."

"Good. Now go and find your brother before he gets the idea that you never want to see him again," Kimi says. "Sure, it's bad enough for you that you nearly blinded yourself seeing him - and you have my condolences. But he's probably hiding under a rock somewhere crying right now because he's so mortified about what happened, and you know Phil. It's better you guys talk things through now rather than later before it's too late. Otherwise he's going to try to avoid you for the next 50 years."

Lil heaves a breath. "Yeah, you're probably right. I better go find him and make things right with us before it's too late. He's still my brother and I'm not going to let this stupid incident ruin that for me, or him. And besides, Tommy wanted us all to get together for that new horror movie on Friday night and I am not prepared to go without Phil. Thanks again, Kimi, for talking to me." She pushes herself out of her seat and stands, cup in hand. "I really appreciate it. I'm so glad I have you to vent to about these sorts of things."

"My pleasure, Lillian. It's what I'm here for."

"Cool. Well, I'll see you in class tomorrow then. I should probably get going."

Kimi hesitates. "Uh, just one more thing?"

"What?"

"Should you happen to come across your brother naked for the second time, promise me you'll record it for me?" Kimi is generous enough to offer up a sheepish grin. "I mean, not because I'm into Phil or anything! It's nothing like that! I just...you know, like you said, it's good blackmail and I feel like I should be apart of that. He's my friend, too, you know. And we're all practically like family. If you're going to torture him with material as good as that then I definitely want in. We could tag team it! You get the stills and I'll get the live feed and we'll both have endless leverage against him."

Lil gives Kimi a look.

"What?"

"Kimi, you're asking me for my brother's nudes." Lil steps forward to place a palm against Kimi's head. When she deducts that there is no fever, she pulls her hand away and frowns sadly. "Well, you're not running a fever so you're obviously not sick. You must have totally lost your mind then if you're crazy enough to want photographic evidence of such horror. Either that or you've got the hots for my brother. Which in that case I have to say_ ew_, for one, and secondly (as I'm obligated to say, considering he is Phil and he is my brother), good choice. But seriously, _ew_."


End file.
